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Hey, Baby, it’s Thursday

From the Outside

Published on September 15, 2016 by Jenn and Peter
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Jenn and peter hold hands as they walk together on the beach

A member of the SCRC team remembers her introduction to and recaps her relationship with SCRC patients Jenn and Peter:

When I first met Peter, I immediately knew that I was in the company of what is referred to as "good people." His laid back demeanor and warm personality make him very easy to connect with. We were brought in contact to work on a project for Southern California Reproductive Center and not long after meeting, Peter shared with me how he came in contact with the clinic.

He shared that he and his fiancé Jenn had been through failed fertility treatment at another facility and that they arrived at SCRC devastated and somewhat desperately seeking another chance. The process had thus far drained the couple emotionally, financially, and physically.

Peter shared with me the pain and frustrations of experiencing this failure and even harder for him was watching the woman that he loves and adores face this unlucky but not so uncommon injustice. Peter shared with me how passionate Jenn was about motherhood and said that from the moment he met her she had expressed how deeply engrained this desire was within her. Jenn "always knew she wanted to be a mother, it is part of her purpose in life.” 

The key to success

I later had the pleasure of being introduced to Jenn and I must say she was just as wonderful, warm and charming as Peter, and twice as beautiful (sorry Peter!). Watching these two amazing individuals interact was like watching a fire dance. The warmth, humor, understanding and pure energy just radiated in the space between Peter and Jenn. To imagine that these two had been struggling with such a dark and devastating reality would surely surprise even the most perceptive person.

Discussing the challenges that this power couple had been facing brought tears, visible frustration and quite honestly an understandable anger but it also showed something remarkable....pure RESILIENCE.  This would be the one key and crucial ingredient to Jenn and Peter's success. Often we do not know how much we want something until we are given the opportunity to fight for it.

Watching two of the most wonderful people I have ever met go through the frustrating and consuming fertility treatment process makes you begin to question injustice. I really couldn’t picture better parents than these two well-rounded individuals and I am so happy that they found the power, passion and determination to keep trying because now the world is going to be majorly blessed with not just one but two beautiful new lives. 

A common bond

Infertility is an increasingly common issue which causes a lot of suffering and certainly I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but I have to say if you flip the perspective and look at things through an alternate lens, you will realize it also creates opportunity. Infertility brings people together in a very unique way.

I recently heard a lecture from a physician who studies patients faced with terminal illness (such as cancer) and when those patients are asked “how many years of your life would you willingly sacrifice if you could be cured,” the answer is identical to what patients faced with infertility are willing to sacrifice for a family. What a profound discovery and what a testament to humanity.

It is next to impossible for anyone on the “outside" to understand the true struggle that couples and individuals endure through the fertility treatment process but we all have the opportunity to understand that an infertility diagnosis is very closely related to a diagnosis of cancer or terminal illness in terms of emotional impact, and at the end of the day both realities are better faced with HOPE. 

In the case of Peter and Jenn, while I wish they did not have to go through so much to achieve their family, I am also somewhat grateful because it is infertility that brought us together. So for the record, I must say thank you to infertility for introducing me to Jenn and Peter. They are two incredible and inspiring people that I am a better person just by having the opportunity to know them. They will make the most wonderful parents and those are some very blessed babies in the making!

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