--- title: How to Cope with the Emotional Stress of IVF description: Feeling anxious about IVF fertility treatments? Learn about how to cope with the risks and stresses of IVF. image: https://blog.scrcivf.com/hubfs/Blog/how_to_cope_with_emotional_stress_of_IVF_fertility_treatment.jpg --- [![Southern California Reproductive Center](https://www.scrcivf.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/scrc-logo-rgb-color.png)](https://www.scrcivf.com) Search for: Search Button **[800-600-9112](tel:800-600-9112)** - [About](https://www.scrcivf.com/about-our-center/) - [Fertility Specialists](https://www.scrcivf.com/about-our-center/fertility-specialists/) - reproductive endocrinologist - [Mark W. Surrey](https://www.scrcivf.com/doctors/mark-w-surrey/) - [Hal C. Danzer](https://www.scrcivf.com/doctors/hal-c-danzer/) - [Shahin Ghadir](https://www.scrcivf.com/doctors/shahin-ghadir/) - [Wendy Y. 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[![Share on Facebook](https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/1213779/fbicon.png)](https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.scrcivf.com%2Fhow-to-cope-with-emotional-stress-of-ivf&title=How+to+Cope+with+the+Emotional+Stress+of+IVF) - [![Share on Twitter](https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hubfs/1213779/twicon.png)](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?status=How+to+Cope+with+the+Emotional+Stress+of+IVF+https%3A%2F%2Fblog.scrcivf.com%2Fhow-to-cope-with-emotional-stress-of-ivf) ![how to cope with emotional stress of IVF fertility treatment](https://blog.scrcivf.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog/how_to_cope_with_emotional_stress_of_IVF_fertility_treatment.jpg?width=640&name=how_to_cope_with_emotional_stress_of_IVF_fertility_treatment.jpg "how to cope with emotional stress of IVF fertility treatment") Infertility can take a terrible [emotional toll](https://blog.scrcivf.com/paying-the-emotional-toll) on women and couples. Disappointment and heartbreak may go on for years, and by the time a patient seeks out fertility treatment their emotional reserves may be very low. Deciding to attempt [IVF](https://www.scrcivf.com/treatment-options/assisted-reproductive-technologies/ivf/) is a major life step, and while it brings with it a renewed sense of hope and purpose, it can be an intense experience for everyone involved. **Managing the stress and the emotional rollercoaster of fertility treatment isn’t easy, but it is possible.** With the right self-care and support you can thrive through this journey. ### The risks and stresses of IVF: you are not alone There is so much to think about when you are considering IVF. The potential rewards are incredible, but the accompanying risks can be daunting. When you are discussing something as personal and emotional as adding a baby to your family, the classic “pros and cons” approach to making a life-changing decision can feel totally inadequate, and yet there are some risks that you must take into account. Dealing with these dualities isn’t easy. **While IVF is extremely safe, you may worry about the possible physical side effects of the medications or procedures.** What if you get sick? Will you end up having to take more time off work than anticipated? The financial commitment of IVF is considerable: how much can you really afford? It can be painful to feel that you are “putting a price” on something invaluable, and very stressful to make such an investment with an uncertain return. At the time when you are most need of support, the rigors of fertility treatment can strain even the strongest relationships. Partners may feel helpless or excluded and struggle to articulate their experience. Family members and friends can inadvertently make insensitive or hurtful comments and suggestions. Some patients wrestle with moral or religious concerns about IVF, and if their church does not approve of fertility treatments they may deal with the stress and alienation of concealing this important part of their lives from their community. Even if you escape these possible risks, the truth is that an IVF cycle may be stressful in and of itself. The sense of unfairness and disappointment that can come from dealing with fertility troubles may actually increase rather than decrease. It may seem like a contradiction, but it is common for the experience of IVF to trigger these feelings in especially intense ways. Shame and guilt for “failing” to conceive and carry a baby without medical help may occur, even though so much of the old stigma around infertility has been overcome. You may question choices you made in the past and blame yourself for the situation. **Even if you know intellectually that infertility is not your fault, feelings of inadequacy can feel inescapable and crushing.** Many patients find themselves feeling a lot of anxiety around starting the IVF cycle. Everything becomes very “real” at this point. Fear of having to self-administer shots is common, and if you already have a phobia of needles it may seem overwhelming. Taking new medications and experiencing new medical procedures isn’t easy, and the entire process of fertility treatment can seem invasive. Finally, the biggest stress for most patients is the fear that the cycle will fail. While fertility treatment can transform your chances of a successful pregnancy, it is an unfortunate fact that there are no guarantees. It is not uncommon for a woman to go through multiple attempts before getting pregnant, and with so much invested emotionally, physically, and financially the disappointment of an unsuccessful cycle can be crushing. **On top of all of this, patients can be very hard on themselves for struggling emotionally at a time when they feel they should be happy, thrilled, excited and hopeful.** Just realizing that this is a common experience among IVF patients should help you feel less alone. IVF can be tough, and it is normal to struggle at times. Acknowledge your feelings and offer yourself compassion and kindness. ### How to cope with the stress of IVF While the risks and emotional cost of IVF are real, they are not inevitable and they do not need to be overwhelming. There is so much you can do to minimize the stress you experience throughout the process. There may be some difficult days, but it is possible to go through IVF feeling comfortable and hopeful. - **Choose your IVF treatment team carefully** - **Educate yourself** - **Map out financial costs of various treatments and cycles before beginning treatment** - **Anticipate decisions and prepare for decision-making** - **Find a [mental health professional](https://www.asrm.org/Psychological_FAQs/) that specializes in fertility issues and/or join an IVF support group** - **Discover stress management techniques** - **Seek out supportive family members or friends and rely on them for emotional support** - **Work together with your partner** - **Keep all other areas of your life as simple as possible** It may not be possible to remove all stress from your IVF experience, but these measures will help more than you might imagine. The most important thing to know is that you’re not alone: your dilemmas, worries and fears are common, natural, and shared by IVF patients all over the world. Above all, remember that attempting fertility treatment is a strong and courageous act. **No matter what the outcome of your IVF cycle may be, you have taken charge of your life and dreams.** You have succeeded in doing all that is within your power to have a child. That is something to be very proud of. 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